Stats Update

For all my new readers, here are my achievements/low points, to date.

Lowest weight:

99.8 lbs

Highest Weight:

133 lbs

Height:

4' 11.75''

Starting Weight:

130

Current Weight:

113.7

Pounds lost, to date:

16.3 lbs

Shine

Plateau 

Don't you know dear? 

You're your own worst enemy.

~

Hit a plateau today.

I feel like tearing my hair out.Plateau

However, I am down .2 lbs...

Which is a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

I haven't gone to the bathroom in three days....

Which is probably contributing to my lack of weight loss, scale wise.

I feel thinner... I just wish I could shit. 

(How ladylike, I know...)

~

I engorged myself on laxatives this morning.

Six little tablets.

There is a very good chance I may die.

(What a great day for sarcasm.)

~

Sometimes, I get antsy.

I want results, now.

Asap isn't soon enough.

But alas, I must bide my time...

A little good everywhere, will get me somewhere.

And this is what I have to believe.

Penultimate

   

My day has been pleasant.

Daily Totals:

2 mini sausages

1 cup salad

1 mozzarella stick

2 palm sized grilled chicken patties

2 slices roast beef

sprinkles of cheddar cheese

2 egg whites

6 sips coke zero

~

I'm feeling pretty good about myself.

Weighed in now, at the end of the day, and I'm only .2 heavier than this morning- which bodes well.

Though I'm really, really hoping the aspartame in my drink didn't kick me out of ketosis.

Tomorrow is the one month mark for the boyfriend- So I thought I'd do something sweet.

I'm baking him his favoritest cookies in the world- Snickerdoodles.

He's going to love me dearly, <3

Hope you all have amazing nights, dearies.

Ideology

I feel so much better right now.

No longer am I shaking.

I can think straight, and my face doesn't throb.

All is well with the world.

I'm losing weight.

~

Hunger pangs are more tolerable, when you have a goal in mind.

I have a state of mind, that I will not stray from.

I know what I want. 

I can do it.

Hell, I'm already halfway there.

If only I push a little harder, go a little farther.

Take the time, take a breath, slow it down, just rest a bit...

Clear my mind, I'll be thinner soon.

~

I have such a glamorous ideal of thin.

I see a fragile girl. thin wrists and beautiful face.

Her face tilts towards the sun.

In her hands, a nonfat sugarfree light Starbucks caramel frappucino.

She sips it daintily, feeling the warm sun on her face.

She presides over the latest fashions, and everything she wears only accentuates her elegant beauty.

She is high class, above us all.

She is thin.

I want to be her.

So strongly, do I have that image.

She sits there in my mind- so close, within an arms distance.

I will be her.

~

I have this idea, in my mind.

Let it free itself.

Don't let anybody convince you that you aren't good enough for what you want.

You can be great.

Buzz

113.7

The scale agrees with me this morning.

It's hard to get out of bed.

My head is pounding.

My hands are shaking.

The vertigo is crippling.

But it's all for a worthwhile cause... 

I will be thin.

No questions asked.

I'm feeling accomplished.

Only 3 pounds away from a new recent low weight.

I'm going through severe sugar withdrawals, my body's outcry against what I'm doing to it.

I'm in a detox, of sorts.

My mind is hazy.

Eventually, my body will adjust- whether it be in a couple of days, or a week.

I just need to focus, keep my eyes on the goal.

104. 104. 104. 104. 104.

I need it, like I need air.

Slowly, slowly....

I'm getting there.

Even if it's only one pound at a time.

Thrilling

Why do these things make me so happy?

114.8

Same day, only evening.

This is good news.

I have been eating all day, in fact, I've felt quite indulgent.

I keep having severe grey outs.

The grey outs I can handle, it's the severe pressure mounting in my head that gets to me. My mind hurts.

I know now, that it's only because my body is using alternative fuel sources, and my blood pressure is skyrocketing when I go from a sitting to standing position.

Doesn't make it any less unpleasant.

INTAKE:

4 egg whites

8 tsp shredded cheese

7 slices peppered turkey

4 floz mandarin seltzer water

buckets of water

With all of that food weight inside of me, I should (theoretically) be weighing in higher than what I was this morning.

However, because my body is in (hopefully) intense ketosis, I'm losing large amounts of weight just by existing.

~

I have an incredible boyfriend.

I think I'm going to post progress pics at about 109. 

Just for mental reference.

I am very pleased to be weighing in at a lower weight at the end of the day.

Beautiful

115

It's absolutely gorgeous outside.

Warm in the sun, and refreshing in the shade.

It's times like these, when I love living the Florida life...

115 is not the number I wanted to see this morning.

But hey, any weight loss is good...

I'm the one who fucked up and gained it in the first place.

My first goal; 104 pounds.

Slightly challenging, only in the essence of keeping my mind focused.

But that's what I want.

And I'll be damned if I'm not going to get it.

A friend of mine mentioned, make a set regimen.

So far, I'd only made up plans for losing weight- but not maintenance, or anything of the sort. Which I realized, is pretty stupid.

So, here goes!

Hardcore Weightloss Mode:
No carbs, avoid shit

Pros:
Lose as much weight as possible,

Cons:
Puts stress on body and mind

Easy Mode:
Five mouthfuls of severe carbs (bread, pasta, etc.) DAILY.
Other food, no carb/sugars- Fruit and veggies allowed Unlimited

Pros:
Eases me into carb restriction, lets me feel better about myself

Cons:

Won't lose as much weight

Maintenance Mode:
3 square meals, 6 bites carbs 6 bites protein 6 bites other
NO PLATE IS BEYOND 20 BITES, 18 IS PERFECT
Fruit and veggies unlimited, count as half bites

Pros:
I stay the weight I am

Cons:
I stay the weight I am

~ 

So, based on this, I'm going to stay in hardcore mode until next Sunday.

Then, on Sunday, I'll begin my Easy Mode. 

I'll stay there for four days.

Then, come that Thursday, I'll see what weight I am, and decide from there.

Yay regimens.