Precarious

106.4

Another pound down.

I'm hanging out with the boyfriend today, who is such a blessing...

He means everything to me.

Today's going to be filled with adventure, I hope... And lots of kisses.

<3

The boyfriend says to me, "Wow, you really look like you've lost weight. I'm so proud of you."

I casually brush off his remark, only to think about it and then say, "Why are you proud?"

He responds, "Because you're doing something so many people say they're going to do, and then never actually even attempt."

I was just quiet, smiling on the inside.

~

Every day my goal is getting closer, and every day I'm filled with more hope.

For the longest time, I believed I was going to be fat forever.
That I couldn't do this.

That I was a failure.

So far, I've been proving myself dead wrong.

I have a pair of jeans that I have not worn in over three years, just sitting in my drawers, collecting dust-

always awaiting that one day I would be able to wear them again, never thrown away.

Always out of hope, I kept them; even if I was too fat to even contemplate putting them on.

I came to an agreement with myself of late, that when I reach 100, I will try on the jeans.

However, this morning, as I glanced at the lone jeans in my drawer...

I said fuck it.

I grabbed the bitches, and then, with a deep breath, slid on the jeans.

I expected the jeans to snag, about mid-thigh- but strangely, they didn't. They kept going.

Cue extreme mind fuck.

So I'm dancing around my room, singing a chorus of "Fuck yes bitches!" acting a complete lunatic in my new addition to my (wearable) wardrobe.

It feels good.

Especially after not believing in myself, for so long.

It just goes to show, all you need is a little faith.

~

One oh six point four.

I still can't fucking believe it.

xx