Edge

I feel disgusting.

551 calories today, 19g carbs.

Fucking shoot me.

I'm just going to have to woman up.

Today will be a test, as to whether my body's ketosis can handle 20g carbs in a day.

If it can't, then I'm back to no carbs tomorrow to make up for any stunted weight loss.

If it can... I'm going to sing hallelujah and praise Jesus while singing the Russian anthem and doing backflips. You think I'm kidding.

Granted, I feel a little bit more than satiated right now- but my mind has drawn a parallel between slight hunger and satisfaction. But that's quite alright, I'll be okay.

So I guess if my body has remained in ketosis, depending on how deep of a ketosis it is, I have a couple different possibilities for tomorrow's approach. Either I'll have virtually no carbs, in an attempt to lose more weight, or stick with about 20 g carbs a day. I think the latter is more strategic of me to do, seeing as if I hit a plateau, I can restrict my carb intake- whereas, if I'm already eating as low as possible, I won't have anywhere to go from there. I'll be able to stay at 20 g carbs, and still have some of my beloved fruits.... Oh fruit, how I miss thee.

We'll just have to see.

~

My brain is still foggy, and I no longer know if it's from lack of carbs or sugar or potassium, iron or just general lack of sleep.

And quite frankly, I don't care.

I just want to lose weight.

Today someone remarked to me, "Aniela, I didn't even recognize you! You're so skinny!" Another girl chimes in, "And your boobs, they're so big!" 

On the inside, I was shining.

But you see, dear, this is only the beginning.

I'm not done quite yet.

Oh, no sir.

You haven't seen the end of me.

~

Intake:

mozzarella cheese stick

ground turkey with slight breadcrumb

three slices skinned cucumber

six apple slices

three slices turkey breast

two egg whites

1/2 can tuna