Monday, October 10, 2011


My first goal weight, reached.
I feel good.
I had some sliced apples this morning, and I'm feeling quite iffy about it...
I'm not going to have any more carbs today, I'm freaking out a little too much.
I'm debating whether or not to go exercising later..
I just want to be thinner tomorrow.
Is that such a bad thing?

I have to realize, that I may need to fight against myself.
Fight against my mindset. 
It wants to bring me down.
I have to check myself constantly.

It's crucial that I keep my carb count up, for the sake of the future. 
For the sake of permanent and continual weight loss.
But the eating disordered side of me wants to get rid of it all, 
to starve in the most innate sense of the world.

It's a sick mindset that taints everything I do.

But I must focus.

Without control, what else do I have?

No comments:

Post a Comment