Sunday, October 23, 2011

Just Kill Me


I have to be practical here.
I need to face it; I royally fucked up.
And now I need to be smart about it, or I'm going to get fat again.
Is that what you want, Aniela?
To get fat again?
That's right.
I didn't think so.

I have to think to myself...
how am I going to lose this weight now?
I can either go back to strict no-carbing, and lose weight again...
Or attempt some weird concoction of...
You know what fuck it.
I'm just going to go back to low carb.
Fuck this motherfucking bullshit.

It's the devil's bargain.
Either I consistently feel like dying, but on the outside, I'm alright...
Or I feel okay, but on the inside, I want to die...
It's a toss up.
An evil, twisted, malevolent toss up in which only one scenario gets the body I want.
I'm not that far from 100.
I'm really not.

So let's get my shit together, eh?

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